Assertive / Progressive

How to have the best year ever.... Jim Rohn

2012-02-14T15:00:00.001+11:00

Look at one's PHILOSOPHY, ATTITUDE, and ACTIVITY - as evidenced in RESULTS.

Ask yourself to MAKE MEASURABLE PROGRESS in REASONABLE TIME.

How to have Your Best Year Ever! - Jim Rohn

No Better - No Worse

2012-02-14T14:15:00.001+11:00

"My Mother taught me something when a teacher was putting me in the back of the class and ignoring me. My Mother said

'You are no better than anyone else.

But no-one else is better than you.

You are as good as anyone else.'

That lesson stuck with me all my life and it is how I have lived my life."

Ralph Davila

Medal of Honour

Consider "Keep On, Keeping On" - Author Unknown

2012-01-30T10:03:00.001+11:00

Colonel Sanders went to more than 1,000 places trying to sell his chicken recipe before he found an interested buyer. The fact that I can buy Kentucky Fried Chicken today attests to his perseverance.

Thomas Edison tried almost 10,000 times before he succeeded in creating the electric light. If he had given up, I would be reading this in the dark!

The original business plan for what was to become Federal Express was given a failing grade on Fred Smith¹s college exam. In the early days, their employees would cash their pay-checks at retail stores, rather than banks. This meant it would take longer for the money to clear, thereby giving Fed Ex more time to cover their payroll.

Sylvester Stallone had been turned down a thousand times by agents and was down to his last $600 before he found a company that would produce Rocky. The rest is history!

To truly succeed requires some commitment to my goal.

Often people have quit just short of success.

I’ll have one more go.

When I really believe in what I am doing, I’ll give it what it needs to go forward.

I just might succeed.

There is no such thing as failure, really.

Every action produces an outcome.

It may not always be the outcome I am looking for, but it is an outcome nonetheless.

When I monitor the results of my actions and keep correcting what is not working, I am getting closer to the outcome I am looking for.

Persistence overcomes Resistance.

As was said about President Calvin Coolidge: “Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with great talent. Genius will not. Un-rewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not. The world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.”

Keeping going in the face of obstacles can allow a miracle to happen!

That miracle might just be me J

Spend more time on myself, than I do on my job :-)

2012-01-19T12:04:00.001+11:00

These three have real value and make valuable points for me.

"Make measurable progress in reasonable time"
"Welcome all experiences - you never know which one will turn everything on. Be careful of walls, they certainly keep out disappointment, but they also keep out happiness"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JfA-qNWLBHo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b2AyudSJl_s&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CWOJt1kCYP0&feature=related

What I've Learned - Written by: Andy Rooney

2012-01-09T17:05:00.001+11:00

I've learned.... That the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.
I've learned.... That when I'm in love, it shows.
I've learned.... That just one person saying to me, "You've made my day!" makes my day.
I've learned.... That having a child fall asleep in my arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.
I've learned.... That being kind is more important than being right.
I've learned.... That I should always say yes to a gift from a child.
I've learned.... That I can always pray for someone when I don't have the strength to help them in some other way.
I've learned.... That no matter how serious my life requires me to be, I need a friend to act goofy with.
I've learned.... That sometimes all I need is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.
I've learned.... That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.
I've learned.... That life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
I've learned.... That I am glad God didn't give me everything I asked for.
I've learned.... That money doesn't buy class.
I've learned.... That those small daily happenings make life so spectacular.

I've learned... That under a person's hard shell is usually someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.
I've learned.... That the Lord didn't do it all in one day. So what makes me think I can?
I've learned.... That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.
I've learned.... That when I plan to get even with someone, I am only letting that person continue to hurt me.
I've learned.... That love, not time, heals all wounds.
I've learned.... That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.
I've learned.... That everyone I meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.
I've learned.... That there's nothing sweeter than sleeping with my babies and feeling their breath on my cheek.
I've learned.... That no one is perfect until I fall in love with them.
I've learned.... That life is tough, but I'm tougher.
I've learned.... That an opportunity is never lost; someone will take the one I miss.
I've learned.... That when I harbor bitterness, happiness docks elsewhere.
I've learned.... That I wish I could have told my Dad that I love him one more time before he passed away.
I've learned.... That I should keep my words both soft and tender, because tomorrow I may have to eat them.
I've learned.... That a smile is an inexpensive way to improve my looks.
I've learned.... That I can't choose how I feel, but I can choose what I do about it.
I've learned.... That when my newly born grandchild holds my little finger in their little fist, that I'm hooked for life.
I've learned.... That everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while I'm climbing it.
I've learned ... That it is best for me to give advice in only two circumstances; when it is requested and when it is a life threatening situation.
I've learned.... That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.

I am thankful

2011-12-12T16:55:00.003+11:00

I am thankful for this day I have been given to make of myself what I choose.

I am thankful for those friends around me.

I am thankful for those I am able to support.

I am thankful for those who support me.

I am thankful for the 6 areas of my life I can grow in - Mental, Physical, Spiritual, Family, Financial, Social.

I am thankful for the life I have lived to date - for the opportunities I have been given, the ones I will be given, and especially for those I have in front of me right now.

Life is choices - I am thankful I have choices in front of me.

I am thankful for the water I drink, the food I eat, for my shelter, warmth, clothing and care.

I make of this day a life I am proud to be part of.

How do I craft an exceptional life? by Robin Sharma

2011-12-12T10:47:00.001+11:00

How do I craft an exceptional life? Ultimately, life goes by in a blink.

Might I live the same year 80 times.

To avoid getting to the end and perhaps feeling flooded with regret over a live half-lived, I read (and then apply) these tips:

I exercise daily.
I am serious about gratitude.
I see my work as a craft.
I expect the best and prepare for the worst.
I keep a journal.
I plan a schedule for my week.
I know the 5 highest priorities of my life.
I say YES to staying on task.
I drink a lot of water.
I improve my work every single day.
I have a mentor.
I have a paid coach.
I get up at 6am each day.
I eat only the food my body needs.
I identify heroes that move me.
I am a hero to someone.
I smile at strangers.
I am the most ethical person I know.
I only "settle" for excellence.
I savour life’s simple pleasures.
I save 10% of my income each month.
I spend time at art galleries.
I walk in the woods.
I write "thank you" letters to those who’ve helped me.
I forgive those who’ve wronged me.
I live that leadership is about influence and impact, not title and accolades.
I create unforgettable moments with those I love.
I have 5 great friends.
I am stunningly polite.
I unplug my TV.
I read daily.
I avoid the news.
I am content with what I have.
I pursue my dreams.
I am authentic.
I am passionate.
I say sorry when I know I should.
I grasp every moment to celebrate another person.
I have a vision for my life.
I know my strengths.
I focus my mind on the plenty rather than the lack.
I am patient.
I always keep going – there is ALWAYS something left.
I clean up my messes.
I use impeccable words.
I travel.
I honour my parents.
I am a great teammate.
I give none of my energy to critics.
I spend time in the mountains.
I know my top 5 values.
I focus on achieving results rather than simply being busy.
I innovate and iterate.
I speak less. I listen more.
I am the best person I know.
I make my life matter.

In order for people to eventually look up to me, I am best served to be reaching higher.

Make someone happy?

2011-10-18T17:54:00.001+11:00

Absolute contradiction.

A person is happy because happiness springs from them like water from a well.

A person cannot be “made” to be happy – it is either within them or not.

I have to have decided that I will look on the positive side, do positive things and think positive thoughts.

No-one can COMPEL me to do those things and be internally directed.

I cannot compel another. When their life script is all about suffering and what isn’t and doesn’t work that is who they are choosing to be.

Not only is there nothing I can do to directly change that, there should be no expectation that it must change.

A person is entitled to live their life as they choose.

If it doesn’t fit in with me or suit me, then I have the right and responsibility to make other choices.

What is love?

The Ultimate Secrets of Total Self-Confidence - Dr Robert Anthony

2011-10-11T15:09:00.001+11:00

MENTAL MAGNETISM

No person is what they think they are; but what they think, they are.

Magnets have their molecules aligned - pulling power is “unity of purpose.”

Law of Mental Magnetism always attracts my true wants - not my wishes, whims or passing fancies.

What I give my dominant attention to will be mine through the Law of Mental Magnetism - constructive thought patterns, or otherwise...

Positive energy creates!

Creative mind; power centre; transcendental power; universal mind; unlimited wisdom - it does exist and it has unlimited power. God, within.

Desire is the seed of fulfilment.

ASK: -

Is this a wise or unwise act?
Will it contribute to my basic needs?
Will it harm me or someone else?
What is the total price I must pay?
Is it in harmony with the Laws of the Universe, as I understand them?
Am I willing and able to pay this price and accept the consequences?

GOAL ACTION PLAN

1. This is my goal (brief description; sketch; picture)

2. Why do I want this? How will I benefit?

3. What actions can I take to reach my goal?

4. Where can I get competent assistance and guidance?

5. Date I began my plan!

6. Date of intended completion!

7. I will revise and review on the following dates!

8. What should I do first? Second? (check when started or finished)
A. _____________________________Started [ ] Finished [ ]
B. _____________________________Started [ ] Finished [ ]
C. _____________________________Started [ ] Finished [ ]

9. I keep the following positive mental attitude during this period (a positive statement concerning how I feel I must act whilst I am working on my goal).

TRAIN RIDE

1. Decide to get on the train - choose goal

2. Best route to destination - plan

3. Buy a ticket - be willing to pay the price.

4. Get on the train - take action

Stick with the journey!

GOAL SCREENING

1. Do I really want this for myself (rather than something I think I should, or ought to, do)?

2. Is it right according to my value system?

3. Do I believe it is possible for me?

4. Will I be a better person when I accomplish it?

5. Can I visualize it in all respects?

6. Do I have complete faith that the Creative Intelligence within me will assist me in bringing forth my desire?

YES TO ALL, then:

a) Clear statement of my goal - subconscious needs specificity!

b) Have an exact date to begin my program.

c) Have an exact date by which I want to achieve my goal.

d) Have a written plan of action

e) Have a schedule to periodically review my plans for changes and updates.

e) Carry a brief statement of my goal written on a small card in my pocket or wallet. Look at it often each day. Have pictures of goal as well.

f) Concentrate on one specific desire or challenge at a time.

g) Make up a positive affirmation or statement about my goal.

h) I always go to sleep picturing my goal.

POSITIVE HABIT CONDITIONING

STEP 1
A. What negative habit do I desire to replace?
B. What positive habit or attitude will I develop to replace it?
C. What actions will I take to replace my negative habit?
D. What is the easiest and most logical way to do this?

STEP 2
A. I visualize myself as having already succeeded in changing that habit! I see myself as already enjoying the benefits of my new positive habit!
B. I use a positive affirmation along with my visualization!

STEP 3
I observe my actions and note each time I do other than what I have promised myself I will do. Rather than condemn or scold myself, I simply make a non-judgmental observation and allow myself to make the necessary correction.

STEP 4
keep a record for at least 21 days.

I am causing my automatic mechanism to respond in the way I have conditioned myself to FEEL and ACT!

I monitor my responses and habit patterns and: -
1. Remove anything in my life that is not working for my good.
2. See what is working for me and continue to program that into my subconscious.
3. Add new things that I find desirable that are likely to work for me.

Keep uppermost in my mind: -
A. I recognize and accept the fact that I have a non-constructive habit - I place no value or judgement on myself.
B. Before I change the habit, I weigh the potential benefits against the price I will have to pay for replacing it.
C. I understand and acknowledge that no amount of willpower is of any use unless I really want to replace the habit.
D. I am convinced that such change will bring about the gratification of a particular need or desire.
E. Up until now, I have only done what my level of awareness has enabled me to do. There is no blame, guilt, or condemnation associated with that - there is simply the opportunity for increased awareness.
I KEEP MY DOMINANT THOUGHTS FOCUSED ON WHAT I WANT......

THE “GENIE” RESPONDS TO: -

Verbalizing:

Feeling & Emotion:
85% faster through the use of music or voice recordings.

Visualization:
My Blueprint of Destiny - coloured pictures of places and things I want to go and do!

Ask for the WISDOM to bring these things into my life, rather than ask for the actual thing. Cooperate with Creative Intelligence and it's law of creation.

PHASES OF THE MIND

SUPERCONSCIOUS: -
The Creative Mind
Intelligence
Absolute Ideas
Transcendental Power
Universal Mind

CONSCIOUS: -
The source of truth is within me.
Limited to the 5 senses - no such limit on other parts.
By itself, limiting.

SUBCONSCIOUS: -
Train to perform any act consciously chosen.

Great Pianist has built patterns of perfection in their subconscious.

Stores memories and releases them under automatic control.

Automatic creative mechanism that can solve my problems and change my life much faster than my conscious mind.

Not limited - can be trained and retrained.

Picture what I want and my subconscious will learn from errors, change my course, correct itself and bring me right on target - like a torpedo programmed to seek out an objective! Automatically!

KEY is for me to picture the END RESULT; FEEL that I can get what I want; FEEL it is already mine; FEEL the enjoyment and excitement NOW! Get the deep down inside feeling that ALREADY WORKING!

My conscious mind must be compelled to be my ally in this!

Give thanks for what is on the way - acknowledge that it will come when I ask.

REACH FOR A HIGHER DIMENSION OF CONSCIOUSNESS THAN THAT IN WHICH I HAVE BEEN OPERATING!

DIARY of GUILT

Guilt is a construct of humankind – it does not exist outside of us.

Keep a record: -
1. Every time I try to make someone else feel guilty.
2. Every time someone tries to make me feel guilty.
3. Every time I try to make myself feel guilty.

Then reduce these occurrences and set myself free from this behaviour. Guilt has no place in the present – creating the future of my choice.

"I Wish You Enough!"

2011-10-11T14:56:00.001+11:00

By Bob Perks

I never really thought that I'd spend as much time in airports as I do. I don't know why. I always wanted to be famous and that would mean lots of travel. But I'm not famous, yet I do see more than my share of airports.

I love them and I hate them. I love them because of the people I get to watch. But they are also the same reason why I hate airports. It all comes down to "hello" and "goodbye. "I must have mentioned this a few times while writing my stories for you.

I have great difficulties with saying goodbye. Even as I write this I am experiencing that pounding sensation in my heart. If I am watching such a scene in a movie I am affected so much that I need to sit up and take a few deep breaths. So when faced with a challenge in my life I have been known to go to our local airport and watch people say goodbye. I figure nothing that is happening to me at the time could be as bad as having to say goodbye.

Watching people cling to each other, crying, and holding each other in that last embrace makes me appreciate what I have even more. Seeing them finally pull apart, extending their arms until the tips of their fingers are the last to let go, is an image that stays forefront in my mind throughout the day.

On one of my recent business trips, when I arrived at the counter to check in, the woman said, "How are you today?" I replied, "I am missing my wife already and I haven't even said goodbye."

She then looked at my ticket and began to ask, "How long will you...Oh, my God. You will only be gone three days!" We all laughed. My problem was I still had to say goodbye.

But I learn from goodbye moments, too.

Recently I overheard a father and daughter in their last moments together.

They had announced her departure and standing near the security gate, they hugged and he said, "I love you. I wish you enough." She in turn said,

"Daddy, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Daddy."

They kissed and she left. He walked over toward the window where I was seated. Standing there I could see he wanted and needed to cry. I tried not to intrude on his privacy, but he welcomed me in by asking, "Did you ever say goodbye to someone knowing it would be forever?"

"Yes, I have," I replied. Saying that brought back memories I had of expressing my love and appreciation for all my Dad had done for me.

Recognizing that his days were limited, I took the time to tell him face to face how much he meant to me.

So I knew what this man experiencing.

"Forgive me for asking, but why is this ‘forever’ goodbye?" I asked.

"I am old and she lives much too far away. I have challenges ahead and the reality is, the next trip back would be for my funeral," he said.

"When you were saying goodbye I heard you say, "I wish you enough." May I ask what that means?"

He began to smile. "That's a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone." He paused for a moment and looking up as if trying to remember it in detail, he smiled even more. "When we said 'I wish you enough,' we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain them," he continued and then turning toward me he shared the following as if he were reciting it from memory.

I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright.

I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more.

I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive.

I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger.

I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.

I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.

I wish enough "Hello's" to get you through the final "Goodbye."

He then began to sob and walked away.

My friends, I wish you enough!

Sometime back I spoke to a group and I showed them pictures of some very famous people.

They included Thomas Edison, Cher, Walt Disney, Richard Branson, Jay Leno, Whoopi Goldberg, Ted Turner and my hero Winston Churchill.

Then I asked the audience what they all had in common. Can you guess?

They were all dyslexic!

I pointed out that the role that made each of them famous also required a lot of reading. Do you know how hard it is for a dyslexic person to read?

But not a single one of those great people that I cited let dyslexia keep them from being all they were created to be.

That's why one of my most favourite quotes is,

"It's not what you are that holds you back; it’s what you think you are not."

There is no failure. Only feedback. ~ Unknown

YOU ARE NO DIFFERENT

2011-10-11T14:53:00.001+11:00

By Bob Perks

Earlier this evening I was inspired by this thought as I  listened to a minister speak at the annual Red Cross dinner my wife and I attended. As usual I made a few quick notes to keep the thought alive and help me to remember exactly what I wanted to share with you. I tucked it away in my suit jacket with plans to write this "tomorrow sometime."

I was driven out of bed. It's 12:23 a.m.

Picture in your mind the most incredible thing designed  by mankind that you have ever seen. Perhaps the Empire State Building; the Shuttle built by the technicians at NASA; the Golden Gate Bridge; or even the intricate detailing in a  painting you've seen.

What name comes to mind when I say the words "creative genius?"

Who do you think of when I mention God-like compassion, caring and loving?

What author's name do you think of when I mention "poetry," "drama," "mystery," "fiction," and "comedy?"

What do you see when I say "strength," and "stamina?"

Finally, who do you picture as "winner;" "successful;" or "role model?"

I'll bet you a Kids Meal at McDonald's you never saw yourself in any of those images.

And yet...

Look at your hands. Are they not the same as the hands of the skilful artist, architect, mason, or technician?

If you were to x-ray your skull, would you not find the same brain matter that took up the space between the ears of Einstein, Plato, and Disney?

Hold your hand to your chest. Can you feel the beat of a  heart capable of paining for the homeless and starving? Have you not the same heart that beat in the chest of Jesus, Gandhi, Mohamed or the thousands of missionaries around  the world?

Look at your fingers. Are they not like the fingers of Frost, Churchill, Stevens, Wilder and King that held tightly the pens that wrote the words that shaped the world?

Look at your feet. Show me the difference between yours and gold medallists of the Olympics or the rescuers who carried the people out of the rubble in Taiwan's tragic earthquake.

Finally. Close your eyes as you stand in front of a mirror and picture in your mind that man or woman who you think of as a success, a winner and role model. Open your eyes and explain  to me the difference between you and that person.

There is no difference...except in how you perceive yourself.

You have the mind, the hands, the feet, the fingers, the heart to be exactly what you want to be. The only thing that is stopping you is the person you see in the mirror.

You have all that it takes.

It's 1:18 A.M. I can sleep now.

The rest is, as always, within you.

What have I to work with and on?

2011-10-06T11:49:00.001+11:00

Mind
Will
Imagination
Emotion
Intellect
Motivation

Regina Brett - a 90 year old

2011-05-02T16:34:00.003+10:00

Written by Regina Brett, 90 years old, of the Plain Dealer, Cleveland, Ohio .

"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most requested column I've ever written.

My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Your job probably won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month - put aside 10% of your take home before you pay everyone else.

6. Arguments almost never have a winner. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with God. She can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past and live in the present.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Why compare your life to others? You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, should you be in it?

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. God never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger. Trick is to keep moving forward.

19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, why take no for an answer?

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Why save it for a special occasion? Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Why wait for old age to wear purple?

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you - take it over.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Why take yourself so seriously? No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.

35. Why audit life? Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative - dying young.

37. Children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

42. The best is yet to come...

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."

Value vs Price

2011-04-14T15:26:00.000+10:00

Price is only ever an issue in the absence of value.

Journey

2011-04-14T09:59:00.000+10:00

“To LAUGH OFTEN and LOVE MUCH; to win the RESPECT of intelligent persons and the AFFECTION of children; to APPRECIATE BEAUTY; to find THE BEST IN OTHERS; to GIVE OF ONE'S SELF; to leave THE WORLD A BIT BETTER to have PLAYED AND LAUGHED WITH ENTHUSIASM and SUNG WITH EXULTATION; to know EVEN ONE LIFE has BREATHED EASIER because you have lived; this is to have succeeded!” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

My Goals and Direction: -

The Ultimate Secrets of Total Self-Confidence

2011-04-13T21:59:00.002+10:00

Is a book - here are some excerpts

MENTAL MAGNETISM

No person is what they think they are; but what they think, they are.

Magnets have their molecules aligned - pulling power is “unity of purpose.”

Law of Mental Magnetism always attracts my true wants - not my wishes, whims or passing fancies.

What I give my dominant attention to will be mine through the Law of Mental Magnetism - constructive thought patterns, or otherwise...

Positive energy creates!

Creative mind; power centre; transcendental power; universal mind; unlimited wisdom - it does exist and it has unlimited power. God, within.

Desire is the seed of fulfilment.

ASK: -
Is this a wise or unwise act?
Will it contribute to my basic needs?
Will it harm me or someone else?
What is the total price I must pay?
Is it in harmony with the Laws of the Universe, as I understand them?
Am I willing and able to pay this price and accept the consequences?

GOAL ACTION PLAN

1. This is my goal (brief description; sketch; picture)

2. Why do I want this? How will I benefit?

3. What actions can I take to reach my goal?

4. Where can I get competent assistance and guidance?

5. Date I began my plan!

6. Date of intended completion!

7. I will revise and review on the following dates!

8. What should I do first? Second? (check when started or finished)
A. _____________________________Started [] Finished []
B. _____________________________Started [] Finished []
C. _____________________________Started [] Finished []

9. I keep the following positive mental attitude during this period (a positive statement concerning how I feel I must act whilst I am working on my goal).

TRAIN RIDE

1. Decide to get on the train - choose goal

2. Best route to destination - plan

3. Buy a ticket - be willing to pay the price.

4. Get on the train - take action

Stick with the journey!

GOAL SCREENING

1. Do I really want this for myself (rather than something I think I should, or ought to, do)?

2. Is it right according to my value system?

3. Do I believe it is possible for me?

4. Will I be a better person when I accomplish it?

5. Can I visualize it in all respects?

6. Do I have complete faith that the Creative Intelligence within me will assist me in bringing forth my desire?

YES TO ALL, then:

a) Clear statement of my goal - subconscious needs specificity!

b) Have an exact date to begin my program.

c) Have an exact date by which I want to achieve my goal.

d) Have a written plan of action

e) Have a schedule to periodically review my plans for changes and updates.

e) Carry a brief statement of my goal written on a small card in my pocket or wallet. Look at it often each day. Have pictures of goal as well.

f) Concentrate on one specific desire or challenge at a time.

g) Make up a positive affirmation or statement about my goal.

h) I always go to sleep picturing my goal.

POSITIVE HABIT CONDITIONING

STEP 1
A. What negative habit do I desire to replace?
B. What positive habit or attitude will I develop to replace it?
C. What actions will I take to replace my negative habit?
D. What is the easiest and most logical way to do this?

STEP 2
A. I visualize myself as having already succeeded in changing that habit! I see myself as already enjoying the benefits of my new positive habit!
B. I use a positive affirmation along with my visualization!

STEP 3
I observe my actions and note each time I do other than what I have promised myself I will do. Rather than condemn or scold myself, I simply make a non-judgmental observation and allow myself to make the necessary correction.

STEP 4
keep a record for at least 21 days.

I am causing my automatic mechanism to respond in the way I have conditioned myself to FEEL and ACT!

I monitor my responses and habit patterns and: -
1. Remove anything in my life that is not working for my good.
2. See what is working for me and continue to program that into my subconscious.
3. Add new things that I find desirable that are likely to work for me.

Keep uppermost in my mind: -
A. I recognize and accept the fact that I have a non-constructive habit - I place no value or judgement on myself.
B. Before I change the habit, I weigh the potential benefits against the price I will have to pay for replacing it.
C. I understand and acknowledge that no amount of willpower is of any use unless I really want to replace the habit.
D. I am convinced that such change will bring about the gratification of a particular need or desire.
E. Up until now, I have only done what my level of awareness has enabled me to do. There is no blame, guilt, or condemnation associated with that - there is simply the opportunity for increased awareness.
I KEEP MY DOMINANT THOUGHTS FOCUSED ON WHAT I WANT......

THE GENIE RESPONDS TO: -

Verbalizing:

Feeling & Emotion:
85% faster through the use of music or voice recordings.

Visualization:
My Blueprint of Destiny - coloured pictures of places and things I want to go and do!

Ask for the WISDOM to bring these things into my life, rather than ask for the actual thing. Cooperate with Creative Intelligence and it's law of creation.

PHASES OF THE MIND

SUPERCONSCIOUS: -
The Creative Mind
Intelligence
Absolute Ideas
Transcendental Power
Universal Mind

CONSCIOUS: -
The source of truth is within me.
Limited to the 5 senses - no such limit on other parts.
By itself, limiting.

SUBCONSCIOUS: -
Train to perform any act consciously chosen.

Great Pianist has built patterns of perfection in their subconscious.

Stores memories and releases them under automatic control.

Automatic creative mechanism that can solve my problems and change my life much faster than my conscious mind.

Not limited - can be trained and retrained.

Picture what I want and my subconscious will learn from errors, change my course, correct itself and bring me right on target - like a torpedo programmed to seek out an objective! Automatically!

KEY is for me to picture the END RESULT; FEEL that I can get what I want; FEEL it is already mine; FEEL the enjoyment and excitement NOW! Get the deep down inside feeling that ALREADY WORKING!

My conscious mind must be compelled to be my ally in this!

Give thanks for what is on the way - acknowledge that it will come when I ask.

REACH FOR A HIGHER DIMENSION OF CONSCIOUSNESS THAN THAT IN WHICH I HAVE BEEN OPERATING!

DIARY of GUILT
Guilt is a construct of humankind – it does not exist outside of us. Keep a record: -
1. Every time I try to make someone else feel guilty.
2. Every time someone tries to make me feel guilty.
3. Every time I try to make myself feel guilty.
Then reduce these occurrences and set myself free from this behaviour. Guilt has no place in the present – creating the future of my choice.

Vitality Journey

2011-03-29T16:43:00.004+11:00

It is all about: - Foods I eat; thoughts I think; exercises I do.

THOUGHTS I THINK:
This is the time in my life to love and be loved.
To focus on the things I want and think positive thoughts.
I have all the material at my fingertips - I just need to USE it!

EXERCISE:
Walking briskly helps - but I have to walk an hour a day at a very brisk pace. I'll have to try another approach!
5BX program
or
Squat/Lunge/Push-up/Hop Scotch/Baby Burpee/Squat Jump

EATING PROPERLY:
Avoid Bread/Pasta/Cereal/Pizza/Rice
Lean, Green, Marine (seafood) - LOL

WHAT WILL YOU BE DOING 7 YEARS FROM NOW?

2010-10-24T00:14:00.002+11:00

By Augie Mendoza

(I have seen this in different guises before - this one really hits the nail on the head!)

"I graduated from Brazosport High School in Freeport, Texas in May 1972. Not dressed in white (honors), but I graduated.

That summer like the previous summer, I worked as a longshoreman loading corn, flour and corn sacks weighing 50 to 140 lbs. and 900 lbs. caustic soda drums on freight ships bound to other countries at nearby Brazos Harbor and Dow Chemical A2 Dock.

This was one of the better paying jobs in the area. It was grueling, hard, heavy work, but I loved it at the time. My father had been doing this job most of his life since it paid well.

Fall came around and I had already decided that I did not want to make my living as a longshoreman. Work was inconsistent and when it was there it only went to the ones with the most seniority, unless there was too much.There wasvery little opportunity for a better job when you got older.

I had always heard that a college education would get you a better job and decided to find out. So I went to nearby Brazosport College and set up an appointment with a counselor.

I got to his office at the appointed time and he asked me what work or profession interested me the most. I had taken Auto Mechanics I & II during my junior and senior years in high school and asked him if Brazosport College had an auto mechanics program.

He said "no." I asked him if they had anything similar to it. He said that the Machine Tools Technology program was very similar and described the program to me.

I was very interested and asked him how long it would take if I went full time. He said "4 years." I said I couldn't go full time since I am working (whenever work was available).

I asked how long would it take if I go part time? He said "7 years." I was shocked. I said, "Man, I'll be old then, I'll be 25 years old. I don't think so!"

He asked me, "what did you say you did for a living right now?"

I told him again that I worked as a longshoreman throwing bags and manhandling drums. Then he bent over his desk and looked me square in the eye and asked me the most significant words I will never forget in my life:

"IF YOU DON'T TAKE ANY CLASSES, WHAT WILL YOU BE DOING 7 YEARS FROM NOW?"

These words hit me like a ton of bricks! I sheepishly told him that I would be doing the same thing.

I signed up for the classes right then and there.

These prophetic words have inspired many of my relatives and friends.

The sun will rise and fall 365 days a year. What you choose to do in between will determine many things in your life.

This story alone has inspired relatives and friends to realize an age-old truth: Time will go on regardless and it waits on nobody.

Years later, I told a co-worker this story. He got inspired enough that he went on and got 3 different degrees in computers in less than 7 years! He said afterwards, "7 years ago I would've been saying to myself, 'If only I had the opportunity.'"

TIME WILL PASS REGARDLESS!"

Sent to you as a courtesy of...

Your friends at AsAManThinketh.net
For a free eBook of James Allens classic:
http://www.AsAManThinketh.net

I love this story! We are born and we die - that is a given. Whether I live or not? Ahhh, that is up to me.

Creed to live by

2010-10-21T22:49:00.002+11:00

Why set my goals by what other people deem important?
It is almost certainly true, that only I know, what is best for me.
I'll be careful about taking for granted the things closest to my heart.
Rather, I'll acknowledge them, as my life - without them, life has no meaning.

Creed to live by

2010-10-21T22:48:00.001+11:00

Why potentially undermine my worth
by comparing myself with others?
It is, perhaps, because I am different
that I can find I am special.

Lite n Easy

2010-09-08T18:49:00.003+10:00

Is a program for healthy eating in Australia where the food is pre-packaged and delivered weekly - to eat over the entire week.

I'm on it now - I might not be getting Liter, but I think I'm getting Easier......

Jokes aside, I am loving it! I was not eating properly before and the program is nutritionally balanced. I am feeling FANTASTIC!

Exercising every day as well. Great things are happening!

I have taken steps to feel, function, and, as a consequence look good - as I shine!

Martin Seligman interviewed in Australia

2010-09-08T14:09:00.005+10:00

Martin Seligman joins The 7.30 Report - Australian Broadcasting Corporation (ABC)

Broadcast: 07/12/2009

Reporter: Kerry O'Brien

Dr Martin Seligman is one of the world's most high profile psychologists. His work on positive psychology, learned helplessness, depression and the power of optimism has featured in many of his books, and led to ground-breaking research work in classrooms around the world. Dr Seligman is in Australia at the moment, where he was attending the Science of the Mind forum with the Dalai Lama and another conference on the mind and it’s potential. He spoke with Kerry O’Brien in Sydney.

KERRY O'BRIEN, PRESENTER: Martin Seligman is one of the world's most high profile psychologists. His work on positive psychology, learned helplessness, depression and the power of optimism is featured in many books and led more recently to ground breaking programs, attacking depression and anxiety, in classrooms around the globe.

But his most thorough school experiment has been at Geelong Grammar where for six months he worked and lived with the teaching staff, preparing them for a new style of teaching. That experiment is still under review, but in the meantime the US Army - concerned about an increasingly high rate of suicides, depression and post combat trauma within its own ranks - has been impressed enough with the results at Geelong Grammar so far that it has commissioned Dr Seligman to apply the same principles to its 1.1 million soldiers.

Martin Seligman, director of the University of Pennsylvania Positive Psychology Center, is in Australia at the moment and I interviewed him in Sydney where he was attending a major global conference with the Dalai Lama on the mind and its potential.

Martin Seligman, what are the fundamentals of the program that you've been implementing at Geelong Grammar?

DR MARTIN SELIGMAN, UNIVERSITY OF PENNSYLVANIA: Positive psychology and positive education have four basic pillars - one is the teaching of more positive emotion, the second is the tuition toward more meaning and purpose in life, the third is what we know about better human relationships, and the fourth is very allied to traditional schools, which is accomplishment, achievement and mastery.

KERRY O'BRIEN: And this is woven through the whole kind of culture of the teaching.

MARTIN SELIGMAN: Yes, well the idea behind it, if you think about what you most want for your children, what Australian parents say is happiness, fulfilment, civility, balance.

KERRY O'BRIEN: Independence from our purse.

MARTIN SELIGMAN: When I asked them, "well, what do schools teach your children?" They say discipline, conformity, literacy - there's no overlap between the two (happiness, fulfilment, civility, balance). So the idea of positive education is to take the things that we have been finding out about building positive emotion and life satisfaction and merging that with the traditional education towards successful work place.

KERRY O'BRIEN: So what have been the results so far?

MARTIN SELIGMAN: Well there are 21 replications across the world in which we taught teachers the skills of positive psychology, and then we measure how the students do on anxiety, depression and life satisfaction. So the results are that teaching teachers in large groups these principles - you first learn them as a teacher in your own life and then you learn to apply them to your students - lowers the probability of anxiety, depression, conduct problems, raises satisfaction as kids go through it. Geelong Grammar is a special case that is we got the whole school.

KERRY O'BRIEN: And you're convinced that this will represent a genuine revolution in education? That this is actually going to spread and be effective?

MARTIN SELIGMAN: No, I'm an eternal sceptic and pessimist so I'm not convinced of anything. I'll tell you what I believe as opposed to being convinced; I think there's quite good evidence that when children learn the skills of positive psychology, in tandem with learning the usual workplace skills, that they, as they go through puberty they have less depression, less anxiety, and they do better in school.

And I think as a parent that's what we want. So the hope is, and there's reason to think it's catching on, that more and more schools and government will say, hey, wait a minute, let's train our teachers not only in how to teach mathematics but how to teach good relationships.

KERRY O'BRIEN: Now this is pretty much the same program, the fundamentals of the same program that you're applying with the US military, starting with, I think, 150 crusty sergeants.

MARTIN SELIGMAN: First I started with a group of 30 drill sergeants, then 60, and then when I just left there was 150 drill sergeants - who are nothing like your image of drill sergeants. They are not these grizzled, mean, obsessive compulsive people, rather they're, for the most part, 40-year-old black and Hispanic kids - they were kids - who were war heroes; who worked their way up through three deployments and their highest characteristic is capacity to love and be loved.

So we've been basically changing the curriculum, not too much from Geelong Grammar. We thought we'd have to do it about combat and they said no, you know, when our guys fall apart, they've got cell phones and right before battle they call their wife in St Louis and have a fight about the kids. And that's so a lot of our examples...

KERRY O'BRIEN: So modern warfare is a dramatically different...

MARTIN SELIGMAN: Modern warfare is you're arguing with your spouse about the dishwasher right before. So yeah, it's really quite astonishing it never happened before. And a lot of the demoralisation is about stuff that's happening with the family on the home front in addition...

KERRY O'BRIEN: So your life is no longer in the capsule of at home or at war or on leave. It's all with you wherever you are.

MARTIN SELIGMAN: Right so it's not like being on a whaling ship anymore in which you don't see your spouse for three years. So as a result of that, to my surprise, as I carefully measure teachers' reaction to this course, they like this course. The Geelong Grammar teachers gave it about a 4.7 out of five. The drill sergeants give it a five out of five.

Just before I came here Kerry, I was walking down to do instructions and this drill sergeant came to me and said, you know, Dr Seligman, I really have to thank you. If I had had this training three years ago I wouldn't be divorced now. From the subjective reaction of this, we've done about 200 drill sergeants now, they believe they can teach it, they like the material and they think it's just what their soldiers need for resilience.

KERRY O'BRIEN: But this could be a five year exercise before a very clear picture emerges?

MARTIN SELIGMAN: Well they've got a different time scale. So what they're doing is they're, we're, now simulcasting it to different forts. So there'll be training probably at the University of Pennsylvania once a month of 150 with my faculty and then this will be simulcasting to several forts.

And at the same time, if we do 150 drill sergeants we identify the 15 best ones and then we bring them back and make them master trainers. So my hope is, just as with Geelong Grammar, that we just, get rid of the University of Pennsylvania very soon - they'll have this within a couple of years.

KERRY O'BRIEN: You've been at the forefront of psychology for decades now; an outrageously general question I know, but in your assessment are people happier today than they were 30 years ago, or to put it differently, is there more or less happiness?

MARTIN SELIGMAN: There's more depression now than there was 30 years ago. So that's really quite a negative, particularly among young people. There are 52 nations in which there's been a measure of happiness at time one and then time two. Forty-six of them went up slightly in happiness, nothing like the way, say, the economics have gone up. Five have gone down, and one nation has stayed flat. That nation is Australia.

KERRY O'BRIEN: Any rationales developed as to why?

MARTIN SELIGMAN: No, but I think it's a paradox. Last time I looked at your economic statistics, Australia had had something like 14 or 15 years of unbroken growth.

KERRY O'BRIEN: It's about 17 now.

MARTIN SELIGMAN: If one has a belief that happiness is a function of economic growth, people in Australia ought to be out there leading the world, but they're not. That tells us that notions of happiness and depression are something much more than material growth.

KERRY O'BRIEN: And having said all that, and having written a book on learned optimism, you're actually a pessimist yourself.

MARTIN SELIGMAN: Yes.

KERRY O'BRIEN: After all these years...

MARTIN SELIGMAN: Actually I'm better than I was the last time you interviewed me.

KERRY O'BRIEN: Well, so after all these years how well have you been able to train yourself to see the glass half full rather than half empty?

MARTIN SELIGMAN: I measure these things in myself and I actually take my own medicine. So the way I work on exercises, like creating more meaning in life or strengths, is I first do it on myself and if it works then I give it to my wife and seven children. And if it works with them, then I start to do controlled experiments on it.

So I actually use these techniques on myself and, you know, I know you're not my age yet, but I think there's really hope even for people in their 60s, that I am, to my surprise, a noticeably happier person than I was and it's by using techniques that have been developed psychologically.

KERRY O'BRIEN: I think that's a very good note to end the interview on.

Martin Seligman, thanks very much for talking with us.

MARTIN SELIGMAN: You're welcome Kerry. Good to see you again.

Psycho-Cybernetics - Maxwell Maltz - BOOK

2010-01-17T12:20:00.008+11:00

Ideas from the book: -

THE PROBLEM: - Maltz observed that when he did Plastic or Corrective Surgery on people, 90% were transformed and exploded forward.

10%, however, even though their facial features were dramatically altered, could see no difference. They stayed the same as people!

He went on - in some cases who came for surgery - to change his patient's attitude about their physical appearance, alter their self image, and transform them WITHOUT surgery.

Page IX - "The Self-Image is the key to human personality and human behaviour. Change the self-image and you change the personality and behaviour.

'Positive Thinking' does indeed 'work' when it is consistent with the individual's self-image. It literally cannot 'work' when it is inconsistent with the self-image."

Page XII - "Experimental and Clinical Psychologists have proved beyond the shadow of a doubt that the human nervous system cannot tell the difference between an 'actual' experience, and an experience imagined vividly and in detail."

Page 2 - "(1) All your actions, feelings, behaviour - even your abilities - are always consistent with this self-image."

Page 3 - "(2) The self-image can be changed. Numerous case histories have shown that that one is never too old, nor too young, to change one's self-image and thereby start to live a different life."

Page 4 - "And numerous experiments have shown that once the concept of the self-image is changed, other things consistent with the new image of self, are accomplished easily and without strain."

Page 11 - "If a scar on the face enhances the self-image (as in the case of the German sword fighter), self-esteem and self-confidence are increased. If a scar detracts from the self-image (as in the case of the car accident injured salesman), loss of self-esteem and self-confidence results." Same scar - different beliefs and affects.

Page 13 - "Our self-image prescribes the limits for the accomplishment of any particular goals. It prescribes the 'area of the possible.'"

Page 19 - "Servo-mechanisms are divided into two general types: (1) where the target, goal, or answer is known, and the objective is to reach or accomplish it. (2) where the target or answer is not known and the objective is to discover or locate it. The human brain and nervous system operate in both ways"

Page 26 - "If you really mean business, have an intense desire, and begin to think with a joyous intensity about all angles of the problem - the scanner we spoke of earlier begins to scan back through stored information or grope it's way to an answer."

Page 28 -
"1) Built in success mechanism must have a goal or a target.
2) Think in terms of the end result - means whereby will take care of itself.
3) All servo mechanisms operate by going forward, making errors, implementing changes of course, going forward. Negative feed back is goal achieving feedback.
4) Corrections result in successful movement, motion or performance. After that continued success is accomplished by forgetting the past errors and remembering the successful response, so it can be imitated.
5) One must learn to trust one's creative mechanism to do it's work and not 'jam it' by becoming too concerned or too anxious as to whether it will work or not, or by attempting to force it by too much concious effort. One must 'let' it work rather than 'make' it work."

Page 31 -
"A human being always acts, feels and performs in accordance with what they imagine to be true about themselves and their environment."

Page 34 -
"Why not imagine yourself successful?"

Page 35 -
"It has been shown, time and time again, that one's nervous system CANNOT TELL THE DIFFERENCE between an actual experience and one that is vividly imagined."

Use mental role play. Imagine oneself succeeding. The purpose is to allow one's TRUE SELF to be expressed - to be free. To allow one's creative constructive self free rein in one's world, by seeing and living into what can be.

I am ugly as sin - I am incredibly good looking...

2009-07-31T22:20:00.003+10:00

When I went through the Landmark Self Expression and Leadership Program I had a lot going on. One night I had a vivid dream. Here it is.

I walked into a darkish room - it contained only a bed. I was terrified. As I walked to the bed I noticed a flex, or electrical cord, lying on the floor.

It became alive and wrapped itself around me. I have never been any more frightened.

I fell on the bed; the more I struggled the tighter it got.

Somehow I relaxed and it fell away.

The lights came on in the room and I said "You can come out now." Nothing happened.

I said, "It's OK, you can come out, now."

I walked to a door and opened it. It was a cupboard - inside was a chubby cheeked boy with a dirty face.

I said "How did you get in here? Who put you in here?"

He got really angry and started to hit and kick the walls. I got really disturbed, the door slammed shut and I found myself back in the room with the bed. But the bright light was still on and the room held no fear for me.

I went back and opened the door. Realizing my mistake I said "where do you want to go?"

He said "outside."

I was about to say "I'll show you the way." But, realizing that was an error, instead I said, "if you like I can walk with you."

I put my hand out and he put his hand in mine.

We turned away from the cupboard and we walked up the hallway towards the front door of my mother's house - through the glass surrounding the door, there came a brilliant white light.

We walked hand in hand towards the door - which opened. We stepped out into the light.

I don't know what this dream meant. I am at peace with it. Like the boy in the cupboard, I don't need to know how he, or I got there.

Just that he, and I, are free.

He's out there somewhere flying around - he'll land and get on with it some day...if it happens.

How I look really means nothing - it's how I am inside...

Dare to Win

2009-07-01T21:21:00.001+10:00

Forward to where?

I am reading the book "Dare to Win" by Mark Victor Hansen.

In it he says have goals; surround myself with positive people; have a go!

That is where I choose to go!

New Beginning - Court Case Dies - where to?

2009-06-14T20:24:00.003+10:00

Been a long while since I have been here.

I have done the Landmark Education Self Expression and Leadership Program (Selp).

I had an appointment with a court appointed psychologist and he told me that A)My son doesn't want me to have custody of him B)He didn't want to tell me himself in case I got angry C)He wanted the psychologist to not hurt my feelings

Result, I got angry, hurt and despondent.

Then he interviewed my ex-wife and said that the reason she doesn't get the kids to do their homework; doesn't get Nick to do his training and exercises; doesn't organize any interventions; is that I push them too much and she compensates by making no demands of them.

I shouted "That's a fucking disgrace saying something like that!"

This, of course, didn't go down at all well with the Psych.

He then went onto say that she said that "Hugh thinks they should be good at everything so he pushes them - they wont be good at everything."

I said, in my usual relaxed style, "That's a fucking disgrace as well, and she should be absolutely ashamed of herself for even saying it."

He said, with a quizzical look on his face "that was a very strong reaction."

Indeed it was.

For 9 years I have had Nick diagnosed; organized interventions; co-ordinated his professionals; with scarcely any help from his mother. Certainly no follow up as regards the exercises he has been asked to do.

As a result of my explosions, and most importantly Nick's feed back, I have had to pull out of the court case.

I went through this scenario with my coach on the Selp - Clare - and she said to open a dialogue with Nick's mother. Tell her how I felt powerless and beaten.

Only took three hours for her to convince me it was a good idea...

Anyhow, that's where I am now.

I have been in the Mother's home a few times and discussed the care of the young lad. I need to just let it go and do whatever I am allowed to do.

It has been, and is, a struggle.

I go forward - exactly to where I am not certain.

Ongoing Court Case

2009-01-08T15:19:00.002+11:00

Just now I had a telephone hook-up regarding custody of my youngest son.

The judge read out parts of the psychologist's assessment and that the children - the youngest in particular - don't want change.

She asked if I wanted to continue the matter.

It is hopeless. It will not succeed.

But the answer was yes - I will continue the case.

He is not doing his homework. He is failing maths - supposedly an Aspergers best subject.

He is disorganized - aspie.

I have to give it a go for his sake.

It will take at least another 6 months.

Almost too late.

We'll see. I owe his future at least that.

Landmark Advanced Course and Assisting Program

2009-01-06T16:03:00.003+11:00

I have been coached by my seminar series leader and by some of the people in the centre.

I am a little further along the journey, but not where I would like to be.

The possibility of doing the Advanced Course again was raised. It is fairer if I assist on the advanced course - so I put in a little, and they put in a little.

One thing that was said during the coaching is I became, at some point, an identity, rather than being in touch with and present to the whole.

I believe that is true.

I will let go and experience the course as I assist others.

I will still be the essence of me - worry not!!

"Saw an old friend on the street last night.."

2008-12-30T14:10:00.003+11:00

"we talked about the old times and we drank ourselves some beers - still crazy after all these years."

Is that how the Paul Simon song goes?

Am very much OK with where I am at the moment. Have been exposed to some grand ideas and am feeling invigorated.

I'm a lot further down my personal journey than I was last year. Things are moving in the directions I cause them to.

It seems that life is survival, always, and growth when one can.

It's in knowing when one can move forward, in challenging oneself, and knowing when it is better to concentrate on recovering - that's the key, it would appear...

Landmark Advanced Course

2008-12-29T17:11:00.002+11:00

I have seen a lot of people get an enormous amount from the Landmark Advanced Course.

While I would say I got a little from it, I must say that I really didn't GET IT overall....

I was left with a feeling of disquiet and overall disturbance.

I am seeking coaching from the organization and await developments.

Christmas Eve Letter...

2008-12-29T17:04:00.003+11:00

The Psychologist from the Family Court sent his report to me and it arrived Christmas Eve.

In it he said that he doesn't believe altering the living arrangements would be in my son's best interests.

His conclusion is less than helpful.

Now the fights and the discussions really begin!

I am still committed to his absolute well being.

Custody of my youngest son....

2008-11-07T10:30:00.004+11:00

I have repeatedly asked my kid's mother if I could have joint custody of our three children. She refused.

My youngest bloke is mildly disabled. He has Asperger's Syndrome. In some things he is not aspie; in other things most definitely!

I have organised training for him; coaching; social skills; physical skills; have monitored his progress and organised meetings with his professionals and at the school. Made certain his mother was invited to all these.

Consistently, over the years, even though she had custody, she would not follow up with his homework, home training, or follow ups.

HOW INCREDIBLY FRUSTRATING! Yet she had full say as to whether I could get him more often, or not.

I am now taking her to court, because she refuses to discuss it, to attempt to get custody in these important years.

I am almost certain to be unsuccessful. He will say he doesn't want to change his routine - because kids rarely do; my place will mean more homework; Asperger's kids don't like change.

But I need to try. I have watched my two eldest atrophy in their skill levels. I wont watch that happen with the youngest bloke without a fight.

We had to appear in court and are now being assessed by a Social Worker / Psychologist.

In my submission to the court I spoke about his needs and how they were not being addressed or supported. In her reply, she spoke about how our 8 years ago marriage was torture and that I, fundamentally, was a very poor father. Then and now.

I am certain you would understand how hurtful that is - I firmly believe, however, totally unnecessary and missing the point.

The point is, the young bloke and his shot at an independent, self-determining life.

Whatever happens, I am committed to that!

Landmark as a Cult?

2008-11-03T12:48:00.003+11:00

I have told a lot of my friends about Landmark - I have "Googled" it, as they have.

I am reminded about a wise saying - "If a hypocrite stands between you and God, it means they are closer to God than you are."

Landmark is not a cult. It is not a religion. It can become a way of life for some.

It is not even the truth - it is just a way of looking at the world and the human experience.

I can say I have met some people who have lived and breathed Landmark. I can say I have met some people who are THOROUGHLY into it.

I cannot say, however, I have met one single person at Landmark who is insincere.

While I am not thoroughly embracing the philosophy and all the views, I have gotten a huge amount from it. Continue to get a lot from it.

People invariably find what they are looking for - what they focus on. Rather than look for reasons not to do it, consider looking for the way you would like your life to be different.

There is a real possibility, that some of the tools they equip you with, will assist you to make your different life a reality, in some small way.

Landmark lecture Series - 2nd impression

2008-11-03T12:29:00.004+11:00

OK so I have moderated my thoughts on the lecture series.

I am particularly impressed by the sincerity of the leader of my series.

In the sea of chat, some ideas floated by that are incredibly helpful.

I can't share them with you because I made a "personal use" promise I intend to keep.

Once again, I found these ideas profoundly helpful.

I'll keep this blog posted.

Landmark Lecture Series

2008-08-29T11:29:00.002+10:00

I did the Landmark Forum - a direct result of which is I now speak to my children's mother. I hadn't done so for 6 years.

It doesn't mean that our interactions will be any easier, it just means they are now possible.

The other thing it did was free me from some past issues that were weighing me down. Enable me to see the possibility that I am inventing for myself.

The literature from the forum warns against people with deep psychological issues doing it. I would echo those concerns.

I have reservations about their "marketing" methodology. The apparent "pressure selling."

I have reservations about the perceived infallibility of their belief systems.

Also, it is too long and drawn out, in my opinion.

I can however say, that it helped me a lot. I would recommend it.

Let me know before you try it and we can dialogue.

As for the lecture series, good god!

This is like pulling teeth. It is not so much a lecture or interaction, as it is a promotional session!

Landmark Forum

2008-08-01T10:49:00.003+10:00

This was an extraordinary weekend.

I saw some people who were really struggling, as people, Friday morning, become free from the things that were holding them back - had done so for years.

I hadn't spoken to my children's mother for seven (7) years. With a little support from my new friend Kate, was able to ring her, make a time for her to call into my home, and discuss our three kids.

I also called my mother and told her I loved her - which is undeniably true. Although, last week I wouldn't have believed that call possible.

Some aspects of the Forum I found incredibly boring. The methodology in signing up people I am uncomfortable with - even though, the results in people's lives, from doing the Forum, have been dramatic.

The parts that were good, were extraordinarily fantastic!

New eyes through which to view NOW, and my life...

Transactional Analysis

2007-12-04T18:03:00.001+11:00

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transactional_analysis

"TA is not only post-Freudian but according to its founder's wishes consciously extra-Freudian. That is to say that while it has its roots in psychoanalysis - since Berne was a psychoanalytic-trained psychiatrist - it was designed as a dissenting branch of psychoanalysis in that it put its emphasis on transactional, rather than "psycho-", analysis.

TA is a theory of personality and a systematic psychotherapy for personal growth and personal change.

1. As a theory of personality, TA describes how people are structured psychologically. It uses what is perhaps its best known model, the ego-state (Parent-Adult-Child) model to do this. This same model helps understand how people function and express themselves in their behaviour.
2. As a theory of communication it extends to a method of analysing systems and organisations.
3. It offers a theory for child development.
4. It introduces the idea of a "Life (or Childhood) Script", that is, a story one perceives about ones own life, to answer questions such as "What matters", "How do I get along in life" and "What kind of person am I". This story, TA says, is often stuck to no matter the consequences, to "prove" one is right, even at the cost of pain, compulsion, self-defeating behaviour and other dysfunction. Thus TA offers a theory of a broad range of psychopathology.
5. In practical application, it can be used in the diagnosis and treatment of many types of psychological disorders, and provides a method of therapy for individuals, couples, families and groups.
6. Outside the therapeutic field, it has been used in education, to help teachers remain in clear communication at an appropriate level, in counseling and consultancy, in management and communications training, and by other bodies."

It is a theory - some have gotten value from it.

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy suggests that people can change when the desire to act is there and techniques for change are regularly practiced.

The power is with the individual and not in the past.

Moving forward

2007-12-02T11:49:00.000+11:00

Funny isn't it, how we see the shortcomings in others but not in ourselves!

A month since I wrote on this blog! That says a lot!

It is to be a chronicle of my moving forward.

Since I was last here I have begun reading Robert Schuller's book "Move ahead with possibility thinking."

While it has a deeply religious message, that I appreciate the spirituality of, it also has an emphasis on seeing the potential in a situation.

I still need to work on that!

That journey of 1,000 miles, beginning with just one step. Still needs the others to follow!

Optimism

2007-10-01T22:35:00.000+10:00

A=Adversity B=Beliefs C=Consequences.

When one changes, challenges, one's beliefs about the causes of one's adversities, one changes the emotional and practical consequences.

This is incredibly helpful.

If one's belief system is that - "I cause the problems in my life" - that is depressing. That is unempowering. That is leading to learned helplessness.

If one begins to believe that one can alter one's thinking and thus alter the consequences - that is empowering.

"Things; people; circumstances cause the challenges in my life - eventually, I may be able to choose to act in a progressive way to address these things."

That is the beginning of real power and fundamental change.

Seligman, in his book "Learned Optimism" (take the best and leave the rest) does this through the D and E of ABCDE.

D=Disputation E=Energisation.

Disputation.
"How unlikely is what I am saying to myself to be true? How likely are a number of other things to be true? How helpful is it for me to think of that being true right now? What skill sets do I really bring to the table? What progress have I made in other areas."

Energisation.
As a result, I discount the pessimistic view and I embrace the alternative progressive view. I feel a whole lot better as a result! I am able to act in my life and on these circumstances.

A=Adversity B=Beliefs C=Consequences D=Disputation E=Energisation.

There is real personal power in this methodology. REAL opportunity for growth.

It is the missing part of a major life puzzle to do with motivation.

What affect will it have in my life?

Area of focus

2007-09-26T08:24:00.000+10:00

Reading a book by Martin Seligman called "Learned Optimism."

In it he says that women are twice as likely than men to suffer from depression.

Men are three to four times as likely to be alcoholics.

Adversities happen to us all.

He observes that women tend to "ruminate" about problems past and present. They tend to mull them over and dwell on them. They tend to be pessimistic when thinking about them.

Men tend to distract themselves with alcohol or with activity.

He says and demonstrates that the better way is to develop an optimistic explanatory style.

That is A=Adversity B=Beliefs C=Consequences.

When one changes, challenges, one's beliefs about the causes of one's adversities, one changes the emotional and practical consequences.

The idea is to ascribe "Temporary, Limited, External" to the bad events and "Permanent, Pervasive, Personal" TO THE GOOD EVENTS. Not the other way around.

Read the comments after the Hellen Keller Post.

Follow the Profiles to their Blogs.

You will find two optimistic people, who obviously have had their adversities at some stage, who focus on the upbeat side of life.

Zig Ziglar said you can go to the best city in the world and find some of the worst people in the world.

Or you can go to the worst city in the world and find some of the best people this world has ever known.

The choice, the focus, is of my own making.

Helen Keller

2007-09-15T17:52:00.000+10:00

"The world is full of suffering, it is also full of overcoming it." - Helen Keller (Who was blind and deaf and went on, with the right help, to inspire people enormously)

There is power in the words we use.

The power we ascribe to them.

I find Helen Keller inspirational because of what she overcame.

Would she have had the impact on our world without those obstacles to rise above?

No.

In adversity, is greatness allowed to be.

Life is full of great times and worthy challenges.

As it is full of lessons to be learnt and skills developed.

I don't have to lose my vision to see them. Or lose my hearing to listen to them.

Rather, I just need to turn my face towards the progressive ideas that allow me to see and hear the possibilities.

Be easy on myself.

2007-09-15T13:50:00.000+10:00

I am reminded of the story of the farmer who said:

"It's easy for that politician to plow my field, when he is two thousand miles away from it, and his plow is a pen!"

It's in the execution that the challenges lie; and the glory lies.

Someone else said:

"It's not what you GET in pursuit of your goals, it's what you BECOME."

Is it the motto of the Special Olympics:

"Let me win. But if I can't win, let me be brave in the attempt."

Did I hear somewhere about the Olympics (paraphrased):

"Ask not for victory,
Ask for courage.
For when you go on in a struggle,
You bring honour to yourself.
Even more,
You bring honour to us all."

It is better for me to acknowledge that I have assets or traits that I wish to build up - rather than starting again.

To acknowledge that I wont be perfect in the execution. That some days I just wont make it.

That some days I will.

Doesn't even have to be most days.

That relaxation, laughter, fun are essential ingredients.

I'm at the face of the gold seam digging. It HAS to be my decision how I mine it and the adjustments I make.

I might even hit some poo.

I'll just put it behind me and keep digging. I'm looking for the gold. I don't have to take anything with me I don't want to take.

A good reason not to step back too far.....

Wayne Dyer - I'll see it when I believe it.

2007-09-13T09:31:00.001+10:00

Take the best and leave the rest!

Thoughts are things.

What you talk about, think about, expands to fill your universe.

Your physical presence is about 1% of YOU - it's your 'form' or physical being.

Your thoughts and desires are 99% of YOU. Thoughts and desires are ageless.

Keep the young person resident in your form.

My take out: -

My spirit is not the flower in the bell jar, as I thought it was - it is an energy or presence that surrounds me and infiltrates my world.

I can say what form it has and how it affects me and those around me.

If a person is contributing to that process then they are close.

Four types of person I can encounter: -

A) Hyper-Progressive

B) Progressive

C) Non-Progressive

D) Anti-Progressive

I choose to be a B. I aspire to be an A.

I choose to spend my time with A's and B's.

C's & D's will await their awakening.......

Where to from here?

2007-09-12T13:12:00.000+10:00

I have had a lot of tools that I have used to varying degrees over the years.

Zig Ziglar and his tapes "How to Stay Motivated" and book "See You At The Top" were very helpful.

Back listening to and reading those - feel better already.

Yoga helped me a lot.

Would like to get into that again.

Need awareness that things can get better.

Need a game plan.

Need to get started.

Have got all those three.

Game plan needs fleshing out, though....

From the ashes, the phoenix....

2007-09-11T15:33:00.003+10:00

The chance to start again.

It has been said each new day is the chance for a new beginning.

The way to build one's assertiveness is not easy.

The way to build assertiveness and a healthy self image is through an intentional program done regularly.

I can do it through my own choice - no-one can do it FOR me.

I have embarked on a program of positive input (tapes and books) and started a journal to record my progress and insights.

I will look after myself.

May your God bless you and keep you and make her face to shine upon you and give you peace.

Or, as is far more likely, may you make the life for yourself that you work towards.

I choose to live and grow - I trust your journey is fruitful.