Been a long while since I have been here.
I have done the Landmark Education Self Expression and Leadership Program (Selp).
I had an appointment with a court appointed psychologist and he told me that
A) My son doesn't want me to have custody of him
B) He didn't want to tell me himself in case I got angry
C) He wanted the psychologist to not hurt my feelings
Result, I got angry, hurt and despondent.
Then he interviewed my ex-wife and said that the reason she doesn't get the kids to do their homework; doesn't get Nick to do his training and exercises; doesn't organize any interventions; is that I push them too much and she compensates by making no demands of them.
I shouted "That's a fucking disgrace saying something like that!"
This, of course, didn't go down at all well with the Psych.
He then went onto say that she said that "Hugh thinks they should be good at everything so he pushes them - they wont be good at everything."
I said, in my usual relaxed style, "That's a fucking disgrace as well, and she should be absolutely ashamed of herself for even saying it."
He said, with a quizzical look on his face "that was a very strong reaction."
Indeed it was.
For 9 years I have had Nick diagnosed; organized interventions; co-ordinated his professionals; with scarcely any help from his mother. Certainly no follow up as regards the exercises he has been asked to do.
As a result of my explosions, and most importantly Nick's feed back, I have had to pull out of the court case.
I went through this scenario with my coach on the Selp - Clare - and she said to open a dialogue with Nick's mother. Tell her how I felt powerless and beaten.
Only took three hours for her to convince me it was a good idea...
Anyhow, that's where I am now.
I have been in the Mother's home a few times and discussed the care of the young lad. I need to just let it go and do whatever I am allowed to do.
It has been, and is, a struggle.
I go forward - exactly to where I am not certain.