Transactional Analysis

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transactional_analysis

"TA is not only post-Freudian but according to its founder's wishes consciously extra-Freudian. That is to say that while it has its roots in psychoanalysis - since Berne was a psychoanalytic-trained psychiatrist - it was designed as a dissenting branch of psychoanalysis in that it put its emphasis on transactional, rather than "psycho-", analysis.

TA is a theory of personality and a systematic psychotherapy for personal growth and personal change.

1. As a theory of personality, TA describes how people are structured psychologically. It uses what is perhaps its best known model, the ego-state (Parent-Adult-Child) model to do this. This same model helps understand how people function and express themselves in their behaviour.
2. As a theory of communication it extends to a method of analysing systems and organisations.
3. It offers a theory for child development.
4. It introduces the idea of a "Life (or Childhood) Script", that is, a story one perceives about ones own life, to answer questions such as "What matters", "How do I get along in life" and "What kind of person am I". This story, TA says, is often stuck to no matter the consequences, to "prove" one is right, even at the cost of pain, compulsion, self-defeating behaviour and other dysfunction. Thus TA offers a theory of a broad range of psychopathology.
5. In practical application, it can be used in the diagnosis and treatment of many types of psychological disorders, and provides a method of therapy for individuals, couples, families and groups.
6. Outside the therapeutic field, it has been used in education, to help teachers remain in clear communication at an appropriate level, in counseling and consultancy, in management and communications training, and by other bodies."

It is a theory - some have gotten value from it.

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy suggests that people can change when the desire to act is there and techniques for change are regularly practiced.

The power is with the individual and not in the past.

Moving forward

Funny isn't it, how we see the shortcomings in others but not in ourselves!

A month since I wrote on this blog! That says a lot!

It is to be a chronicle of my moving forward.

Since I was last here I have begun reading Robert Schuller's book "Move ahead with possibility thinking."

While it has a deeply religious message, that I appreciate the spirituality of, it also has an emphasis on seeing the potential in a situation.

I still need to work on that!

That journey of 1,000 miles, beginning with just one step. Still needs the others to follow!

Optimism

A=Adversity B=Beliefs C=Consequences.

When one changes, challenges, one's beliefs about the causes of one's adversities, one changes the emotional and practical consequences.

This is incredibly helpful.

If one's belief system is that - "I cause the problems in my life" - that is depressing. That is unempowering. That is leading to learned helplessness.

If one begins to believe that one can alter one's thinking and thus alter the consequences - that is empowering.

"Things; people; circumstances cause the challenges in my life - eventually, I may be able to choose to act in a progressive way to address these things."

That is the beginning of real power and fundamental change.

Seligman, in his book "Learned Optimism" (take the best and leave the rest) does this through the D and E of ABCDE.

D=Disputation E=Energisation.

Disputation.
"How unlikely is what I am saying to myself to be true? How likely are a number of other things to be true? How helpful is it for me to think of that being true right now? What skill sets do I really bring to the table? What progress have I made in other areas."

Energisation.
As a result, I discount the pessimistic view and I embrace the alternative progressive view. I feel a whole lot better as a result! I am able to act in my life and on these circumstances.

A=Adversity B=Beliefs C=Consequences D=Disputation E=Energisation.

There is real personal power in this methodology. REAL opportunity for growth.

It is the missing part of a major life puzzle to do with motivation.

What affect will it have in my life?

Area of focus

Reading a book by Martin Seligman called "Learned Optimism."

In it he says that women are twice as likely than men to suffer from depression.

Men are three to four times as likely to be alcoholics.

Adversities happen to us all.

He observes that women tend to "ruminate" about problems past and present. They tend to mull them over and dwell on them. They tend to be pessimistic when thinking about them.

Men tend to distract themselves with alcohol or with activity.

He says and demonstrates that the better way is to develop an optimistic explanatory style.

That is A=Adversity B=Beliefs C=Consequences.

When one changes, challenges, one's beliefs about the causes of one's adversities, one changes the emotional and practical consequences.

The idea is to ascribe "Temporary, Limited, External" to the bad events and "Permanent, Pervasive, Personal" TO THE GOOD EVENTS. Not the other way around.

Read the comments after the Hellen Keller Post.

Follow the Profiles to their Blogs.

You will find two optimistic people, who obviously have had their adversities at some stage, who focus on the upbeat side of life.

Zig Ziglar said you can go to the best city in the world and find some of the worst people in the world.

Or you can go to the worst city in the world and find some of the best people this world has ever known.

The choice, the focus, is of my own making.

Helen Keller

"The world is full of suffering, it is also full of overcoming it." - Helen Keller (Who was blind and deaf and went on, with the right help, to inspire people enormously)

There is power in the words we use.

The power we ascribe to them.

I find Helen Keller inspirational because of what she overcame.

Would she have had the impact on our world without those obstacles to rise above?

No.

In adversity, is greatness allowed to be.

Life is full of great times and worthy challenges.

As it is full of lessons to be learnt and skills developed.

I don't have to lose my vision to see them. Or lose my hearing to listen to them.

Rather, I just need to turn my face towards the progressive ideas that allow me to see and hear the possibilities.

Be easy on myself.

I am reminded of the story of the farmer who said:

"It's easy for that politician to plow my field, when he is two thousand miles away from it, and his plow is a pen!"

It's in the execution that the challenges lie; and the glory lies.

Someone else said:

"It's not what you GET in pursuit of your goals, it's what you BECOME."

Is it the motto of the Special Olympics:

"Let me win. But if I can't win, let me be brave in the attempt."

Did I hear somewhere about the Olympics (paraphrased):

"Ask not for victory,
Ask for courage.
For when you go on in a struggle,
You bring honour to yourself.
Even more,
You bring honour to us all."

It is better for me to acknowledge that I have assets or traits that I wish to build up - rather than starting again.

To acknowledge that I wont be perfect in the execution. That some days I just wont make it.

That some days I will.

Doesn't even have to be most days.

That relaxation, laughter, fun are essential ingredients.

I'm at the face of the gold seam digging. It HAS to be my decision how I mine it and the adjustments I make.

I might even hit some poo.

I'll just put it behind me and keep digging - a good reason not to step back too far.....

I'm looking for the gold. I don't have to take anything with me I don't want to take.

I cannot know how close I am, only that I control whether my journey continues - no-one else.

Really it doesn't matter how close I am - only that I am enjoying the journey.

Wayne Dyer - I'll see it when I believe it.

Take the best and leave the rest!

Thoughts are things.

What you talk about, think about, expands to fill your universe.

Your physical presence is about 1% of YOU - it's your 'form' or physical being.

Your thoughts and desires are 99% of YOU. Thoughts and desires are ageless.

Keep the young person resident in your form.

My take out: -

My spirit is not the flower in the bell jar, as I thought it was - it is an energy or presence that surrounds me and infiltrates my world.

I can say what form it has and how it affects me and those around me.

If a person is contributing to that process then they are close.

Four types of person I can encounter: -

A) Hyper-Progressive

B) Progressive

C) Non-Progressive

D) Anti-Progressive

I choose to be a B. I aspire to be an A.

I choose to spend my time with A's and B's.

C's and D's will await their awakening.......

Where to from here?

I have had a lot of tools that I have used to varying degrees over the years.

Zig Ziglar and his tapes "How to Stay Motivated" and book "See You At The Top" were very helpful.

Back listening to and reading those - feel better already.

Yoga helped me a lot.

Would like to get into that again.

It really helps to have an awareness that things can get better.

Good to have a game plan.

What does it take to get started?

Of those three Awareness, Game Plan, Starting, which is critical - or are they ALL important?

Game plan needs fleshing out, though....

From the ashes, the phoenix....

The chance to start again.

It has been said each new day is the chance for a new beginning.

The way to build one's assertiveness is not easy.

The way to build assertiveness and a healthy self image is through an intentional program done regularly.

I can do it through my own choice - no-one can do it FOR me.

I have embarked on a program of positive input (tapes and books) and started a journal to record my progress and insights.

I will look after myself.

"May your God bless you and keep you and make her face to shine upon you and give you peace."

Or, as is far more likely, "may you continue to make the life for yourself, that you work towards."

I choose to live and grow - I trust your journey is fruitful.