Tuesday, 30 December 2008

"Saw an old friend on the street last night.."

"we talked about the old times and we drank ourselves some beers - still crazy after all these years."

Is that how the Paul Simon song goes?

Am very much OK with where I am at the moment. Have been exposed to some grand ideas and am feeling invigorated.

I'm a lot further down my personal journey than I was last year. Things are moving in the directions I cause them to.

It seems that life is survival, always, and growth when one can.

It's in knowing when one can move forward, in challenging oneself, and knowing when it is better to concentrate on recovering - that's the key, it would appear...

Monday, 29 December 2008

Landmark Advanced Course

I have seen a lot of people get an enormous amount from the Landmark Advanced Course.

While I would say I got a little from it, I must say that I really didn't GET IT overall....

I was left with a feeling of disquiet and overall disturbance.

I am seeking coaching from the organization and await developments.

Christmas Eve Letter...

The Psychologist from the Family Court sent his report to me and it arrived Christmas Eve.

In it he said that he doesn't believe altering the living arrangements would be in my son's best interests.

His conclusion is less than helpful.

Now the fights and the discussions really begin!

I am still committed to his absolute well being.

Friday, 7 November 2008

Custody of my youngest son....

I have repeatedly asked my kid's mother if I could have joint custody of our three children. She refused.

My youngest bloke is mildly disabled. He has Asperger's Syndrome. In some things he is not aspie; in other things most definitely!

I have organised training for him; coaching; social skills; physical skills; have monitored his progress and organised meetings with his professionals and at the school. Made certain his mother was invited to all these.

Consistently, over the years, even though she had custody, she would not follow up with his homework, home training, or follow ups.

HOW INCREDIBLY FRUSTRATING! Yet she had full say as to whether I could get him more often, or not.

I am now taking her to court, because she refuses to discuss it, to attempt to get custody in these important years.

I am almost certain to be unsuccessful. He will say he doesn't want to change his routine - because kids rarely do; my place will mean more homework; Asperger's kids don't like change.

But I need to try. I have watched my two eldest atrophy in their skill levels. I wont watch that happen with the youngest bloke without a fight.

We had to appear in court and are now being assessed by a Social Worker / Psychologist.

In my submission to the court I spoke about his needs and how they were not being addressed or supported. In her reply, she spoke about how our 8 years ago marriage was torture and that I, fundamentally, was a very poor father. Then and now.

I am certain you would understand how hurtful that is - I firmly believe, however, totally unnecessary and missing the point.

The point is, the young bloke and his shot at an independent, self-determining life.

Whatever happens, I am committed to that!

Monday, 3 November 2008

Landmark as a Cult?

I have told a lot of my friends about Landmark - I have "Googled" it, as they have.

I am reminded about a wise saying - "If a hypocrite stands between you and God, it means they are closer to God than you are."

Landmark is not a cult. It is not a religion. It can become a way of life for some.

It is not even the truth - it is just a way of looking at the world and the human experience.

I can say I have met some people who have lived and breathed Landmark. I can say I have met some people who are THOROUGHLY into it.

I cannot say, however, I have met one single person at Landmark who is insincere.

While I am not thoroughly embracing the philosophy and all the views, I have gotten a huge amount from it. Continue to get a lot from it.

People invariably find what they are looking for - what they focus on. Rather than look for reasons not to do it, consider looking for the way you would like your life to be different.

There is a real possibility, that some of the tools they equip you with, will assist you to make your different life a reality, in some small way.

Landmark lecture Series - 2nd impression

OK so I have moderated my thoughts on the lecture series.

I am particularly impressed by the sincerity of the leader of my series.

In the sea of chat, some ideas floated by that are incredibly helpful.

I can't share them with you because I made a "personal use" promise I intend to keep.

Once again, I found these ideas profoundly helpful.

I'll keep this blog posted.

Friday, 29 August 2008

Landmark Lecture Series

I did the Landmark Forum - a direct result of which is I now speak to my children's mother. I hadn't done so for 6 years.

It doesn't mean that our interactions will be any easier, it just means they are now possible.

The other thing it did was free me from some past issues that were weighing me down. Enable me to see the possibility that I am inventing for myself.

The literature from the forum warns against people with deep psychological issues doing it. I would echo those concerns.

I have reservations about their "marketing" methodology. The apparent "pressure selling."

I have reservations about the perceived infallibility of their belief systems.

Also, it is too long and drawn out, in my opinion.

I can however say, that it helped me a lot. I would recommend it, as long as you avoid becoming "dependent" on it.

As for the lecture series, good god!

This is like pulling teeth. It is not so much a lecture or interaction, as it is a promotional session!

Friday, 1 August 2008

Landmark Forum

This was an extraordinary weekend.

I saw some people who were really struggling, as people, Friday morning, become free from the things that were holding them back - had done so for years.

I hadn't spoken to my children's mother for seven (7) years. With a little support from my new friend Kate, was able to ring her, make a time for her to call into my home, and discuss our three kids.

I also called my mother and told her I loved her - which is undeniably true. Although, last week I wouldn't have believed that call possible.

Some aspects of the Forum I found incredibly boring - especially the constant attempts to market the stuff.

The methodology in signing up people I am uncomfortable with - even though, the results in people's lives, from doing the Forum, have apparently been dramatic. Whether the change will be lasting is the question.

The parts that were good, were extraordinarily fantastic!

New eyes through which to view NOW, and my life...

Nov 2014 - There are some parts that made a lasting impression - "Vicious Circles"
For a more useable approach to this see the ABC's of Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy" ABC - a crash course

While it can be part or the start of the journey, it is not a destination.

I saw people fundamentally alter the way they look at the world.

I saw a lot of people stripped of their coping mechanisms and then left to fend for themselves. NOT POSSIBLE and hardly fair and reasonable.

The human journey is just that, a journey.

What worried me at the time was the lack of ongoing support - unless you continued to do their courses and became "Landmarked."

The vulnerable, impressionable, easily swayed people, would be advised to tread carefully.

It remains the case that I got some fundamentally important ways to look at life and life's events.
On balance I benefitted from it but still remain cautious of their marketing and their tendency to USE people as volunteers.